The local vicar is having a bath, and he's a little bored, so he decides to, 'pleasure' himself. He's quite happily tugging away, reaches the old moment of bliss, and opens his eyes only to see, at the window, the window cleaner, jaw agape at what he's just seen. A Couple of minutes later, the doorbell rings - it's the window cleaner. The vicar is understandably embarrased, and asks the man how much he owes him. "50 quid" comes the reply."50 quid?!?" says the vicar, startled. "Yep, fifty quid or I tell the whole parish about what I saw, you perv." So the vicar hands over the cash, and the cleaner gets on his way. The following week, the bishop's round for his supper and is having a wander round the vicar's house, admiring his lovely home. He says to the vicar, "Lovely clean windows you've got there vicar, who does them for you?" "Oh, a guy from the village does them for me, he does a great job," replies the vicar. "Oh, yeah. How much does he charge you, then?" "Well," replies the vicar, "fifty quid, actually" "Fifty quid?!? Blimey!" says the bishop. "He must have seen you coming."

Two mates were having a quiet drink and discussing their wives. "So, does your wife do it doggie style?" one bloke asked. "Well no, not exactly. She's more into the trick-dog aspect of it" his mate said. "Oh I get it. Wow! Kinky!" the 1st drinker said. "Not at all, actually. It's like this: I sit up and beg and she rolls over and plays dead," his mate answered.

A chicken and an egg were laying in bed, smoking cigarettes, the covers and sheets all messed up. The chicken laid there with a big, stupid grin all over its face. The egg, looking disgusted, blew out a stream of smoke, looked over at the chicken, and said, "Well, I guess we answered that question, didn't we?"