Ian Paisley had a regular pre-bedtime routine. Firstly he would kiss a portrait of King William of Orange, then he would kiss a portrait of the Queen every very night before sleep, both of which hung on his bedroom wall. Smmuukk! "Goodnight and God Bless ya Billy". Smmukkk! " Goodnight and God Bless you your Majesty". He'd been doing this for years. However this was ALL Mr Paisley was doing before sleeping, much to the annoyance of Mrs Paisley. After yet another night of futile expectation the increasingly frustrated Mrs P. decided to take some action. She went out to the seedier part of Belfast and had a tattoo of King William added to the inner thigh on her left leg. On her inner right thigh she had a tattoo of the Queen applied. That evening, before bed Paisley went to the portraits for the usual supplication. "What's going on here Mrs Paisley? What have you done with the portraits of our glorious King of old, and our current beloved Queen?" he asked horrified. Mrs Paisley raised her dressing gown and showed her husband her new decorations. Paisley knelt down and planted a kiss firmly on the tattoo of King Billy and one firmly on the tattoo of the Queen, then stood up. "What's that matter with you, haven't you forgotten something?" she asks "That's grand and fine woman," he said as he looked up annoyed "but there's no f*** in' way I'm kissing Gerry Adams.."